I thought women were, like, afraid of snakes and slimy things like that, so what’s up with this? I cruise into our garden and there is my lady chatting with this serpent. So I said, “Whoa, babe, what’s up with Mr. Snakester?” “Don’t worry, dude,” she says, “It’s just a garden snake. It’s not, like, poisonous or anything. Sheesh.” So I’m like, “Yeah, but you were talking with the dude. What are you, Dr. Doolittle, or something?” And she’s like, “Cool your jets, Dawg. He was just saying that we really should check out one of these Honey Crisps. They’re on sale, they’re delicious, and they improve your mind.” So I’m like, “Babe, don’t you remember what the Big Voice in the clouds said about eating the apples?” And she’s like, “Like, you believe everything you hear in the sky?” And I’m like, “Well, that burning bush said it, too.” “Oh, stop it. You’re such a pussy. A bite of an apple isn’t going to kill you, fool.” “No, but the Big Voice said it would put us in a world of pain, fear, chaos, disease, sin, shame, torture, death and regret.” “Oh, you’re such a drama queen. Just shut up and bite the apple, you big chicken.” So I’m like, “Gimme the goddam apple.” And that’s how this whole mess got started.

“Mandala Adam And Eve” o/c, 36×36″ c 2017 Ken Delmar